Young Lust
by RageMore61
Summary: Guess who's back bitches? YES! The sexual tension continues! Natsuki is a teen with deep sexual desires for a certain Kyoto born beauty... Problem is, big age difference, oh did I mention that Shizuru might possibly be dating Nat's older brother, Reito? Well, at least that's what Nat thinks. Can she find it in her heart to confess and rid herself of this sexual torture? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** O.M.G. Who are you?! O.O Yes, it is I! Uhh... Ragemore61 *sighs* Originally known as Papermoon. Made a new account, for some reason I couldn't access my old one, and to top it all off my laptop went out of order for a few months...it felt like death. As you can see, I reuploaded Young Lust and will soon reupload my other two fics. Edited and corrected. Wooooo! This time readers, I won't leave you hanging, I am really sorry for the wait. But here it is, Young Lust. And remember ** is when someone is writing or typing something!

****Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1 I Can't Sleep**

The only light that was in my thickly dark bedroom, was the glow of my computer screen, It was one in the morning, and I was having a hard time falling asleep. So I went to my computer and started to type the first thing that popped into my head, just to kill time. I really was surprised to see that I wrote the very thing that was keeping me awake.

*****Sex.

What are your thoughts on it, when you hear the word sex?

Naturally anyone would think two people getting together, to be more specific, a man and woman.

That's what anyone would think. Any normal person would think.

But I'm not a normal person.

When I hear the word sex, I don't think about a man and woman getting together, no...

I think about sex being a weakness.

Another drug that just temps you into falling within its grasp and never lets you go.

Or better yet, you let yourself fall into its grasp, you hold on to it, and you never let go of it.

Because sex is just another one of man kinds many drugs.

Sex is...

It's a weapon.

It's a weakness.

A pain reliever.

A stress reliever.

A bond.

A release.

A distraction.

Meaningless.

Forbidden.

Corrupting.

Addicting.

Fun.

Easy. (nowadays, I don't know about that one though...)

Pleasurable.

Life.

Lust and love.

Sex is a lot of things.

But what do I know? All I know, is that I know nothing, Socrates once said that, right? I know nothing about it, since I am a virgin. But that once never bothered me, I'm fine with being a virgin, I say it gives me less crazy in my life. Those thoughts were just what I think, key word 'think' Not sure at all what I'm talking about but...now...I think differently.

When I hear the word sex. It scares me because I now no longer think like that anymore.*****

I stopped typing in my computer, my thoughts were running all over the place, I ran a hand through my long midnight hair in slight frustration as I continued in my head.

_Because when I hear the word sex...I now think about two people getting together, two people of the same sex, two females. _

_And its all your fault._

_When I hear the word sex..._

_I think about you, Fujino Shizuru._

And whats worse...she's older than me by three years and not to mention... straight.

Can it get worse? Oh yes, it can.

She's my brother's best friend, and he asked her to stay the night at our house.

Can it get any more worse? Oh yes, it can. So much more worse.

She's in my room...

Wait...the fuck..?

"S-shizuru? Uhh...wha?" stared wide eyed at her, leaning on the door's frame of my bedroom in such an alarming casual way, she had that innocent smile on her face that just makes my insides melt. And I tried not to ogle her, but can I really help it? She was wearing a violet silk robe, a short one I might add. I was still sitting at my desk in front of my computer, sitting crossed legged on the chair, wearing my green T-shirt that reads 'Green is the new black' and a pair of black boxers.

"Ara, isn't it passed Na-tsu-ki's bed time?" came the tease that caused heat raise in my cheeks. Gods! The way she said my name...my face flushed even more.

"Why...why are you here?" I managed to ask without stuttering.

I may look cool and controlled now, but the next words that past through her full lips, it was almost a whisper, but I heard it. The moment she voiced out that alluring Kyoto accent, those words floated through the air and into my lungs, halting my breathing in an instant and my heart rate had come to a stop at the words that she had uttered.

"I...can't sleep." her crimson eyes were glowing in the dark side of my room.

". . . " _Oh shit..._

**To be continued...**

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**A/N: **Well, not much left for me to say lol To any of you who remember YL, thanks for waiting, and I hope you guys enjoyed it, R and R please!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Chapter 2 up, corrected/ edited, please enjoy!

**Warning:** Read at your own risk...geez, I make it sound like you're going to die if you read this. I'm not THAT good at writing! Okay, anyways...heads up we got some small explicities (Just a tiny bit) in the horizon in this chapter. Be gentle this isn't my first attempt, but its the first time I considered in actually uploading it for all to see. So erm...well, nothing big happens here, so don't expect anything jaw dropping...yet.

So here it is ladies and gentlemen, chapter two of Young Lust!

Please enjoy!

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**Chapter 2 I'm Wide Awake**

She can't sleep?

Why does that make my throat dry all of a sudden? I don't know why I'm reacting like this, all she said was that she couldn't sleep, so why do I feel so anxious? But the way she had said that to me...she almost made it sound like it was my fault, like she wanted me to do something about it...Ugh! There it goes, my brain in the gutter! Grrr...

I tore my eyes away from her, I don't have the strength to look at her. I hate it that she has this much of an affect on me. That she has this ability to send my mind into places I don't want it to go to, places that it shouldn't be going to. I hate it that she makes me feel so weak minded, so easily attracted to her, when she makes me feel so nervous. But most of all...

I hate it that she's in here in my room...that she's here in this house because of Reito and not me. "Tsk...Shouldn't you complain that to my brother?" was the cold reply to her as I turn back to my computer, trying to see if by ignoring her would give her the hint that I don't want her here. (Or make her think that I don't...because I kinda of do want her here.) _I can't have her in my room when I have this reaction towards her! _

If she couldn't sleep, why not snuggle closely with Reito? Since they are 'Best Friends', right? Im sure he could find a way to make her fall asleep real quick. That thought made my stomach churn and my chest tighten painfully for some reason. I think I'm getting sick...

I don't know what relationship they have, I'm sure that it isn't what they want people to think, no way would Reito put up with being 'just friends' with someone like Shizuru. They both claimed that they are just friends, but then there are these stupid comments people make about them like 'They look so perfect together' or 'Cutest couple ever.' But even so they look good together (In other people's opinion) they are just friends...but there are times I don't think so. _They really could be together..._ Well, that's none of my business. I don't have to care about that! None of my business at all.

I don't care. _But I do care..._

I don't want to care...

I shouldn't care...not the way I do.

She must be really confused right now, trying to figure out what I meant by what I said.

I didn't mean to be so cold to her, I have always been this way with her since I've discovered these attractions. In time she had gotten use to it, but she just kept on nagging to talk to me. Most of the time we have these one sided conversations, she acts as if I listen to everything she says even though she thinks that I'm ignoring her.

But I don't ignore her.

And I do listen to her. Always.

I never get tired of listening to her, but I'm afraid that if I start being nice to her I'll end up showing her my real feelings. _What feelings? _I wondered. Of course there is that attraction towards her, no doubt in that, and I'll admit that there are times I just want grab her and kiss her and other things. I've concluded a few weeks ago that maybe, just maybe, this was only a very strong crush. One that has lasted almost two and a half years now...that's too long to be just a crush, but is this...

Is it love?

Or is it just lust?

_I don't want to be in love..._ I shut my eyes and grinded my teeth at the thought of that possibility. _I can't be in-_

"Is...Natsuki alright?" she asked, breaking my train of thought.

Fuck no, I'm not alright! "I'm f-fine!" I stuttered, I could sense the worry and doubt that her tone held when she spoke.

"If Natsuki says so..."

Just when I thought that she had caught on the 'Please leave me alone' hint, I flinched in surprise when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"But I still feel like Natsuki is lying to me, is there something bothering you?" she added with a firm squeeze on my shoulder. I can feel my face begin to heat up.

I kept my eyes glued on the computer screen, I didn't dare look at her, I'm afraid if I do look I won't be able to stop myself from staring at her lips, and that is something I would like to avoid.

"Ara, Natsuki is so very tense..." she had now placed both her hands on my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. My heart is about to beat its last beat if she continues this, 'cause I fear that the blood rushing to my head will kill me.

"Natsuki should relax more, is school giving you a hard time?" she asked a bit worriedly. No, not school... Gah! Is she massaging me? I can't let her do that, I have to stop her.

"Uh...I..." I was about to protest, but all I did was sigh in relaxation. Damn she's good at that.

"You shouldn't stress so much." I shivered when she whispered in my now red ear, "Just relax..." I didn't notice that she was this close over my shoulder, I could feel her warm hot breath on my ear and neck. Her hair was almost curtain over my shoulder, she smells so sweet, like jasmine and...tea? Its intoxicating. She's so fucking close, I can't go on like this for long.

Why is she doing this?

Why am I letting her do this?

I growled slightly in satisfaction when she hit a hard spot on my left shoulder, the tension in the muscles was being slowly loosened up. I was so lost with this relaxing sensation that I was not aware of her head tilting to the side in curiosity, her crimson gaze scanning over my com..puter...s-screen-Oh fuck no!

"Ara ara, Why is Natsuki so interested in...sex?" she voiced out in slight shock, but held that hidden playfulness and amusement in her tone when she talked.

I blinked several times at the screen, then I looked up at the smirking Shizuru that was over my shoulders, I am so busted! How the hell am I going to get myself out of _THIS_!

"Uh...I-Im not!" I can lie better than that damn it! "It's just...uh..." say something!

Shizuru stared down at me with a raised eyebrow, "Is that so?" she glanced over the computer screen briefly, I panicked so I quickly turned off the screen. I blushed deeply when she started to giggle. "Fufufu...Its nothing to be ashamed of Natsuki, it is quiet normal for someone of your age to start thinking about sexual-"

"Ah ah! I'm not listening!" I covered my ears. I am so busted, she read it. All of it? I'm fucked.

"Fufu...its fine, Natsuki. Its alright to have curiosity, neh?" She backed away from my shoulders as she continued, "I think its cute that your trying to express yourself about sex." she smiled teasingly at me. "Ara...and the writing, its very straight forward and honest, I am just a bit baffled that someone who is so easily embarrassed like yourself can even go through a page of this, let alone actually be the one who wrote it...fufu. Its very cute..." she continued, "You're only seventeen and your seeing the world of sex in such a curious way...and such a strangely innocent way. I myself enjoyed these short written ideas about sex."

My face is all hot, blush on overdrive.

Do you, whoever the hell is listening to me right now, have any fucking idea how fucking hot it is to hear Shizuru say the word 'sex' with that damn Kyoto-ben? No? Well, there is no word to describe how much of a turn on that is...god, I've become so perverted!

"Why are you here..?" I finally asked, running my hand down my face hoping that the blush would go away and the on wanted thoughts.

Shizuru stared upwards at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression, her index finger tapping her chin, her classic thinking pose. I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling at the sight, I have always liked that pose. Its so carefree and natural look to her, something I rarely see, something that anyone rarely sees. I wonder...does Reito get to see that everyday? Does he get to see all of those emotions, and expressions from Shizuru?

I bet he does...

"Hmm...like I have told you before, I can't sleep." she explained, "I was going to the kitchen to have something to drink, but then I found your door open and was surprised to see you awake at this hour." a pause, she looked down at me with a smile, "Is sex keeping you awake, Natsuki?" she teased.

I scowled at her, "That is not funny..." was the annoyed mumble as I crossed my arms in defiance, "But whats keeping YOU awake, Ms. Fujino?" Whoa...this has been the longest conversation we've had, with me actually talking back.

I didn't get why she looked so taken aback by my question, her crimson eyes widen for a split second, but it was long enough to know that she was shocked by that question. _What's her deal? _

"...I'm don't really know. Perhaps I'm not tired?" she asked herself, but the look on her face was doubtful.

"Hmph..." I huffed at her, but really, that was just a way for my to release the heated air that was still trapped in my lungs. "Look, go deal with your insomnia somewhere else." _Go before I say something I wasn't suppose to._

"Ara, Natsuki-chan is being mean to me." she pouted, the cute horribly sexy pout that I just can't get the image of me kissing those lips out of my head.

"Grr...Shizuru, go to sleep." I demanded, with my signature icy glare. And any minute now she'll leave, give it a second..._It doesn't work on her, remember?_

Well, that was pointless.

"I have told you before, I'm wide awake." she simply said as she sauntered over to my bed, she sat herself there with another of those smiles of hers.

I felt my mouth go slack when she did this.

Then another thought crossed my mind. _Fucking hell she's in my bed! _My eyes widen with horror.

Shizuru was sitting on my bed, this isn't helping me one bit. Even worse with the way she was sitting. One leg over the other, the perfect lady pose... WRONG. It is the perfect seductress pose! You could see the way her silk robe would ride up her thigh in her sitting position, the way she was leaning on both of her hands on either side of her, holding herself up, and it seems that she must have forgotten to close her robe a bit more tightly, because I can see her collar bone and a generous amount of cleavage. Was she wearing anything under that? I wondered.

_Whoa..._ I found myself watching. _God...look at that skin, and those long legs, they could go for miles..._ I had an involuntary image of Shizuru's bare smooth legs rapped around my shoulders while I... _Bad thoughts!_ I shook my head from going any further in my creative and imaginative mind, I can't and won't have a nose bleed in front of her. When have I become such a perv? I swear this is the first time having these thoughts at random moments like this.

Like a gravitational poll, my eyes went up from her form to focus on her eyes, red eyes that were watching me with amusement.

Yeah, I was busted.

Oh so fucking busted. Again.

"Is there something you like, Na-stu-ki?" she asked seductively running her hand up the side of her exposed thigh.

I felt my mouth drop open when I saw her wink flirtatiously at me.

Red.

Very red.

Scarlet red.

Why is this happening to me?

"I-Idiot..." was my weak come back, this is the most horrible Friday night...I glanced over at my alarm clock, the red neon numbers flashed 2:32 AM. Scratch that, this is the worst Saturday morning ever.

"Should you really be teasing me like that?" I just had to ask. I saw her get into a more serious mood. If she keeps this up, I might not hold myself back any longer.

She sighed, "There are a lot of things that I shouldn't be doing, a lot of things that I shouldn't be thinking..." I have no idea what she meant by that, she seemed to be telling herself that than to me. I wonder whats on her mind, she may have said a few things about herself to me, but there are things that I can't figure out about her. Like why the fuck was she still here in my room, or better yet, why the hell is she in my bed?

"I have been thinking of why am I so wide awake...I think that there is something I need to take care of, was my logical conclusion." she looked up to me thoughtfully, "In fact, I don't know why or how I have ended up at your door. Then the thought came to me as I watched you: 'Is she the reason why I can't sleep?' Natsuki..." Where is she going with this? "Are you keeping me awake..?" I suddenly have a hard time to breathe.

That question...how I wish I was the one keeping you awake, but no, its not me, Shizuru. Its all backwards.

_You're the one that's keeping me awake._

Does she even know what she is saying?

Do I?

"Shizuru, I think you should...go." I felt a painful thump in my chest when those words left me. Maybe cause it hasn't stopped beating so hard the entire time she had been in here with me.

She looked at me with mild amusement, "Natsuki has been trying to get rid of me, why is that?" she asked curiously.

You know, there are times that I think that Shizuru knows that I have 'feelings' for her, and that maybe that's why she teases me senseless. Maybe she does know and she's cool with it?...but what will that change? If she knew or not that still changes nothing.

Nothing.

If she does know or not and accepts it, that wouldn't make a difference.

Actually that would make it worse.

But then...just now, her touching me, and not being all weirded out by my expressive ideas on sex. And this whole talk about me keeping her 'awake', she almost makes it sound like she thinks about me frequently in bed.

The thought made me blush again for the 100th time tonight.

_Gah! What is wrong with you! Of course she wouldn't think of you like that, or in anyway! Why the hell would your brother's girlfriend have any sort of feelings towards you?_

I sighed as I stood up from my chair, I was now standing in front of her, staring down at her with determination. I can't take it anymore, she has got to go. This is my room, I can kick her out, "Look, whatever you are trying to say to me I'm sure your best friend can answer you better than I could, I'm sure my brother knows you well enough to help you with your...problem." I felt my heart clench when I finished...forced my sentence out.

She looked quiet taken aback with my comment on my brother, she seemed shocked that I had found out that they are together.

"...You think Reito and I are together?" she asked incredulously.

I rolled my eyes at her, she really thinks I'm that naive? Well, I'm not.

"Of course, why would I think otherwise? Oh please, you two have been 'best friends' for almost three years. For god's sake woman, he asked you to stay the night here. I'm sure that it's not for some slumber party to gossip, do each others nails, and talk about boy bands." I ranted on, "Don't tell me that you guys haven't dated once," I raised my pointer finger to prove my point. "Reito had fangirls after him since high school through out college, 'Prince charming' they called him." I scoffed at that, "Hes a smug idiot if you ask me." I mumbled.

Shizuru looked surprised at my out burst.

"Ara-"

"And you." I cut her off, "You were as much as popular as my brother, who knows even more than he was, you're a very attractive woman, you're smart, sweet and..." What the fuck am I saying? Shut up! Don't say it! "If I was my brother I would..." I clamped my mouth shut with my hand, I winced harshly when I bit my tongue by accident, I can taste the blood. _I deserve that for opening my mouth...I hope she didn't hear that last part._

But of course I'm always wrong.

Crimson eyes stared up at me sharply, for some reason they have gone brighter. I felt a shiver run down my spine when I met her interested gaze.

There was a brief silence.

"If you were your brother...what would you do?" I felt my blood run cold when she asked me that, but I didn't answer, I dare not to.

"What would you do?" she asked again.

I don't know why but I had dropped my hand from my mouth and found myself speaking again, "I wouldn't want to be...your friend." I started, ignoring the stinging of my tongue. "I would have never have waited three years to be just friends. Who the hell would put up with that, who would want that? I don't want that..."

"...what would you want..?" her voice dropped to a soft whisper that sent yet another shiver down my spine.

"I-I would want...I would want more." So much more, Shizuru.

I saw her bite her lip, was she nervous?

"And what more would you want, Natsuki?" She asked. Something isn't right here, her voice, the tone...it isn't playful anymore. I don't know why but she talks almost as if she was breathless, if anything her slightly heaving chest was any indication. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

"I would want more than just...hanging out, more than just friendly hugs, or a kiss on the cheek." I'm losing control, "I would want more than just holding hands, I would want more than just your friendship..." I paused, I am spilling my guts out all over the place. Am I confessing? No, stop, just shut up.

"What else..?" she urged, but I shook my head. I swore I heard her groan softly in frustration, "What else?" she asked again only this time impatiently.

But I denied her anymore answers.

She stood up, causing me to flinch. She took two steps towards me. She was so close now, I could feel the warmth radiating from her body of how close she is right now. I felt the urge to back away from her.

"Natsuki...please, be honest with me, please?" I shut my eyes tightly when I heard her beg, I have never felt so cornored in my entire life. "What more would you want from me..? Tell me." I flinched when I felt a hand cupping my already heated cheek, so warm, so soft and delicate.

I kept my eyes shut, ". . ." the words in my mind froze when I felt a pair of arms snake around my neck, bringing her body closer to mine. But I did nothing to stop her, I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around her. I'm afraid if I do I wouldn't let her go. Ever.

Noticing that I would not react to her hug, she held on to me tighter, "Don't ignore me..." she scolded, but it sounded more like a weak plea than a scolding. "You've always ignored me, this has been the longest talk we've had, please don't stop." she held on to me harder.

Damn it.

Why can't I deny her? I've done so many times before, so why am I giving in to her pleas? Maybe its because she's so close to me right now, holding on to me like a vice, I think I lost control.

"I have never ignored you, Shizuru." I can't take it when she sounds so sad and hurt, even more when it was me that made her feel like that. "I have always paid attention to you, I just...never let it show." My arms are tingling for some reason, is it because they're aching to hold Shizuru back? Yes, that's probably it. Such a strange sensation, I can feel it all the way to my fingertips.

"Really? So Natsuki doesn't hate me?" I stifled a gasp when I felt her nuzzle my neck with her nose.

I struggled to answer her, "Y-yes...really. I-I don't ha..te...you. Shizu...ru? Wha-what are you doing?" stop stuttering so much.

"I have never known that you would smell so good." she breathed in, "Natsuki smells like the rain." she purred as she took in my scent. This really isn't happening, how am I still so in control over this?

"Natsuki, do you..." she lifted her face off my neck, I had long ago opened my eyes. "Do you want me to go?"

No, "Yes." I lied.

Shizuru gave me a small smile, "Natsuki's lying." Okay, that's just scary. Or maybe I just suck at lying.

"I am not lying." I gave her a glare, but that never works, so I don't know why I even try.

"I guess I should leave." she gave a dejected sigh, "But I'll go on one condition."

I don't like where this is going.

"Wha...what do you want?" I dared to ask.

"I want you to say goodnight, and let me give you a goodnight kiss on the cheek." was the simple thing she asked for, I gave her a blank expression.

That's it? Hah...thought she would have asked for something outrageous.

"Okay. Well then...goodn-!" I stopped mid sentence when I saw her lean over to me, I felt my eyes widen with the sudden close proximity. And then I frozed up when a pair of soft lips pressed against my cheek.

A kiss on the cheek, that's a innocent way to say goodnight to each other, right?

Wrong...

At first it was a small gentle peck on the cheek. But then I felt her hands grip at my shoulders followed by another soft kiss on the cheek, this second kiss was lingered more. (I would say four seconds, if I was paying attention. But I wasn't...) Is it normal that your heart has been beating so hard and fast for such a long period of time?

I'm guessing no, that's not normal.

Three. That one was dangerously close to the corner of my mouth.

Four, this was on my temple.

Five, on my eyelid.

Six, my ear. But it was more like a bite than a kiss.

She passed a few more series of kisses almost all over on the left side of my face, but all of them were slow (not a quick peck like the first one) Each kiss was lingering, slow, and searing hot. I vaguely heard her whisper my name against my blushing cheek, I stifled a gasp when I felt her suck lightly on my cheek. I hope that doesn't leave a mark...wait, why is this happening?

What is going on?

She's still kissing me, how many kisses? I have no idea, my mind is still cloudy to pay attention anymore. I had lost count long ago.

All I know is that this 'Goodnight kiss' was not innocent, it was far from it. She slowly dragged her lips down from my cheek to my jawline. "Shiz..." I tried to speak and ask her why was she doing this, but my voice strained when I felt her bite down gently on my jaw. I felt my heart rate skyrocket once again.

This has got to be a dream, there is no other reason for this to be happening. This is a dream I've dreamt many nights, even in my dreams I'm so reluctant in touching her back.

But this isn't really a dream.

Nope, your brother's girlfriend is actually making the moves on you...heh.

Well...that's not good.

_Fuck!_

_Stop her!_ I couldn't stop her, my body went on overdrive, blocking all of my defenses. Instead I grabbed hold of her waist, causing her to grip me tighter. "Aren't you...going to say goodnight?" her breathing had turned short and shallow.

"I-I..." I am so lost right now.

I can practically feel my eyes go dark when she pressed her body harder on me, but then pulled away from me, her hands tangling themselves playfully through my hair, "Say it again, I didn't quite catch that." she taunted, "If you don't say goodnight, I will not leave." she said with finality.

"You...should." I said harshly, "I'm warning you Shizuru, leave or else." I can't hold back anymore.

She smirked at me, her now dark crimson eyes staring into my eyes with defiance.

"Or else what?"

Was that a dare..?

That is it.

My hold on her waist got tighter, bringing her body flushed against mine once again, her eyes widen when I did this. I stared down into shocked crimson, "Do you really want to know that?" I didn't give her time to answer that question, I roughly pushed her on the bed. She yelped in surprise when she made contact with my dark blue comforter, she got herself up on her elbows, that action caused her robe to slightly slide down from her shoulder, showing the creamy soft skin. She really isn't wearing anything under that. _That's not good..._

"Natsuki, you never finished saying what more you wanted from me..." my eyes briefly glanced down at her hands, I could see the knuckles turn white as she gripped at my bed sheets.

I saw them turn whiter at the next word I said, "Guess."

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_Ara..._ Was the only coherent thought, and the last one, as she crawled over to me. I was surprised that she had come this far, that I had come this far. I have grown tired of waiting, I have grown tired of not having your attention...Natsuki.

And the things she had said. Is it possible for Natsuki to have a certain attraction for me? Ara, of course, that must be it. That must be why she has been so distant around me, that's why she avoids eye contact with me, and the times she ignores me. All this time she has been trying to hide it, trying to keep it at bay. _Keep what exactly? This?_ I felt her lightly brush her nose with mine, her body was now hovering over me. _You don't have to hide it anymore, Natsuki. We don't have to hide it from each other anymore._

Does she have any idea how much I've been waiting for this..? I asked in my mind as she placed her hands on either side of me, her leg finding its way between me. I shuddered in hazing suspense when I felt her hot breath tickle my face, only signaling me that her lips were so close to my own.

I had expected her to have kissed me right then and there, but...

She leaned lower down, I felt her lips on my chin.

I will admit, I deserve to be teased.

"Shizuru," she dragged her lips from my chin to my exposed neck, this caused me to circle her shoulders with my arms. She scrapped her teeth against my heated flesh, I was finding it hard to keep still. I started to wiggle weakly underneath her, she smirked against my neck, "I want more than friendship, I want more than just seeing you there in front of me...and doing only that...just seeing you and not..."

I felt a cold hand slide my silk robe off my shoulder, "Not touching you..." she said in that low husky voice that has come to weaken my resolves and bring out my hidden desires that were locked away. She kissed her way down to my pulse point, sucking and nipping at my skin. My breathing was thick and heavy, I gasped out loud when her tongue traced it's way lower to my collar bone, leaving a trail of pleasant shivers in it's every wake.

She stopped briefly to untie my robe, exposing my bare breasts and my black lace panties. She placed her hand on my flat stomach, her touch icy and hot as she caressed my bare torso. She continued her ministration on my collar bone, I tangled my hands in her soft impossibly silky raven hair.

I scratched her scalp harshly with my nails as she went lower to the top of my breast, "Natsuki..." I released a low moan when she sucked lightly on it, her mouth encasing itself around my erect nipple, her tongue joining in to draw circles around, followed by teeth. Her hand on my stomach traveled lower to the waistband of my panties, "Nnh..." I felt her hand cup my other breast, giving it a light squeeze. I bucked my hips when she slipped her hand underneath my panties, cupping my front, "Ahh...Natsu...ki." I bucked my hips again, begging for her to continue.

She smirked tauntingly at me as she traced my entrance, "Heh...Shizuru, now that you know what I want..." she started to stroke my entrance slowly with her index finger, I can feel the wetness in my center start, I felt her breathing also hitch. Her hot breath was tickling my ear as she spoke, "Why not...scream it to me loud and clear what you want...Shizuru." she whispered hotly as she plunged deep within me.

"Natsuki!"

I jolted upright from bed, my chest heaved rapidly. My body was drenched in sweat, that my robe was slightly sticking to me, my heart felt like it was about to burst into flames of how fast it was beating. And that familiar dampness between my legs alerted me of my aroused state, and that I had just woken up from a wet dream.

I sighed in frustration as I glanced over to the alarm clock, it was five in the morning. I looked around the room, and I had found myself in her room. I'm in her bed, Natsuki's bed...

I slowed my blindly excited heart as I laid back down on her bed, _It was...just another dream._ My thoughts disappointedly reminded me. No, this is not the first time I'm having a 'wet dream.' And sadly, none of them were real...none of it was real.

Of course, I remember what really happened last night.

- Flashback start -

"Natsuki, you never finished saying what more you wanted from me..." I asked, holding back the urge to reach out to her and pull her down in bed with me.

"Guess." Ara ara...she walked towards me closer, her emerald eyes steadily turning from the brightest shade of green to the most dark one. She looked down at me, or more like, scanning over my body that was on her bed. I did not notice the way my chest was heaving up and down so strongly and slow, it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

I dared to sit up straight to meet her dark emerald gaze with my own eyes, I ignored the chills of hidden thrill that went down my spine. I forced a cocky smile on my face, and tried to regain some control. I felt my heart trip when she spoke again.

"Shizuru, guess..." her voice had a tone that I had never heard from her before. Well, I rarely get to hear her voice at all when I talk to her, but that tone...what is it?

"Natsuki wants..." to touch me, kiss me, bring me to high heaven and come crashing back down. I don't care, just show me instead of talking about it. Natsuki, stop playing games with me.

I saw her smirk, "I want to go to sleep." What? She meant...with me, right?

Before I could dare ask the unspoken question, I saw her walk up to her desk and picked up what I assumed was her mp3. She glanced over her shoulder, "And since you refuse to leave, I'll just have to take the guest room you have abandoned," No! Don't leave me like this...I rubbed my thighs together, trying to see if I could control the building heat within me.

"You can stay here if you want, I don't mind. Just don't..." Please don't say it, Natsuki, "Don't follow me." please don't say it... "Goodnight, Shizuru." she walked quickly out the door, disappearing into the darkness of the hallways of the house.

I sat there in her bed, I felt my mouth slacken a bit at the empty space where Natsuki was once standing in front of me.

Leaving me hot and cold, but mostly...alone.

- Flashback end -

"Sigh..." I turned to lay on my side, a pleasant scent that was dearly familiar to me invaded my senses. The scent of rain, Natsuki's scent. I buried my face into the dark blue pillow and inhaled deeply that sweet rain smell, I could breathe this all day.

Just being here, in her bed, smelling her, feeling her warm presences that still lingered in the bed sheets. Its almost like she was here lying with me in this bed, the thought of waking up with Natsuki right next to me made my heart skip. It made my mind go fuzzy, it made heat cross through me once again.

Ara...not how I wanted to start my morning.

I do not know how I was now facing the white ceiling, with my right hand resting on my stomach and left finding its way to the knot on my robe. I know whats going on, what I'm feeling, its unbearable, yet so intense, it turns you desperate, a need. A need for release, a need for ecstasy. I shouldn't do it...

Not while I'm here in her bed, but I found myself untying the knot on my robe despite my contradicting thoughts. _This is not the place to deal with your needs Shizuru Fujino. _I scolded repeatedly in my head, but the need was so great that my own body has gone against me. My body speaks to me, it tells me that its not wrong, that it's for my own good, that I need this, that I want this.

And I do.

Here and now.

My robe was opened enough to be able to tend to myself...

* * *

This has been the most sleepless night of my entire life, and I have had a huge amount of those nights. And it was always because of those damn thoughts that always lead to her, thoughts about Shizuru. But that night was different, because not only were my thoughts swimming in the memory of crimson, but because of the actions and words she had showed me. And now here I am, five in the morning, staring up at the ceiling in the guest room, thinking and rethinking of what the fuck was she going on in that head of hers when she was doing...

"Ugh..." I grabbed the pillow from underneath my head and pressed over my face, muffling the groan of frustration I had released.

_Why did she do all of those things? That was by far not just teasing. _But that's just it, I don't know if she was just teasing and messing with me, its hard to tell what she is feeling when she decides to mess with someone around with that damn unreadable smiling mask. But she went too far, in a way. The things she said, and the way she said them..._ Is it possible that she could feel the same..? _My heart rate went up a notch again, but then my blood went cold and my heart froze over to a sudden halt.

Realization hit me. Hard.

I almost ravaged her last night, I almost pounced on her. I almost had the urge to loose control and..!

And with my brother's girlfriend! Oh god...

But it wasn't my fault, if it wasn't for her provoking me...

That's right, she has been the one making the moves on me. But wait...what about Reito? What about him? Does Shizuru not love him?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

_Shizuru can't possibly have a thing for me, not when she's straight, and fucking no way when she's with my brother! But then...last night..._

I mind was filled with images of Shizuru kissing me and hugging me...Grrr.

This makes no sense at all, ugh...my head hurts. I removed the pillow from my face, I breathed out and sat up from the bed. Suddenly feeling the need to refresh myself and clear my head, I walked out the door to the hallway corridors and went to the direction to the bathroom that was just a door away from the guest room.

I didn't even bother to flip the light switch on, I just went inside and turned the water tap on in the sink. I sighed tiredly as I dipped my hands in the cold water, splashing some on my face, trying to see if by doing so the hurt in my eyes for lack of sleep would go away.

I didn't even bother to dry my face, so I just walked out the door, and made my way to my room.

I yawned escaped from me as I opened the door to my room, I stopped in my tracks when I heard something...and that's when I remembered.

_Shizuru is still in my room._

Gaahh...how the hell could I forget something like that! My mental argument was cut short when I heard that strange sound again, a sound as I could only describe as...

A moan..?

And...

Heavy breathing...

It was still fairly dark, even if it was five in the morning. It was hard to see through the darkness, but my good hearing could pick up that there is someone breathing heavily.

And that someone can't be none other than Shizuru.

But why is she breathing so...erratically like that? Is she okay? My mind kicked into panic.

"Shizuru..?" I heard her gasp loudly, followed by the shuffling of fabric.

I can see her shadowed figure sit up quickly in my bed, even in the dark I could see her chest heave. And her crimson eyes were wide in shock, horror and...shame?

"...N-n-natsuki..?" I heard her pant out my name stuttering.

What the hell was up with her?

I took a step forward, I raised an eyebrow at her when I saw her wrap the bed sheets around herself tightly. "Hey, Shizuru...whats-?" I walked over to the night stand and turned on the lamp there to see her.

My eyes widen a bit when I saw Shizuru was sweating, whats wrong with her? Is she sick? "Shizuru are you alright?" I asked worriedly as I looked at her face, which was shockingly blushing...

And then it was all getting together.

The silent moans.

The heavy breathing.

The sweat.

The heaving of her chest.

And now the redness in her face when she looked up at me.

Seeming to noticed the wideness in my eyes, she looked away from me, blushing and ashamed.

_Oh shit...no way..._

I had just caught Shizuru masturbating in my bed.

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N:** *fans self* Woo... Sexual tension, only way to describe this am I right? lol Hope all you horn balls reading this enjoyed it... I see you, I see you . Now, the moment everyone is waiting for shall be uploaded soon...very very soon. And I do mean Chapter 3 people *smirks* I kinda enjoy making Natsuki and Shizuru suffer a little bit...even you, my dear readers. R and R!

And thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Oh snap, chapter 3... wooo! lol Not much to say, erm, I don't think I did a very good job with this chap. But I'll let you my dear readers be the judge of that xD

Enjoy!

**Chapter 3 Paper Ball Wars**

The weekend passed by slowly, two days since that night with Shizuru...

Hysterical laughter filled the silent street walk, just blocks away from school. Nao Yuuki, was hugging her sides desperately. She fell to her knees, tears of mirth pulling out at the corners of her eyes as she gasped for air through her nonstop laughter.

"Hahaha, you ran away?! Oh god...y-you...!" she collapses to the ground further, her laughter now hurting her sides more. "I can't brea...BREATHE."

I feel my face burning red hot in embarrassment, and also in pure fury as I watched one of my closest friends have a seizure of amusement on the sidewalk. My knuckles turning white as I gripped at the arm strap of my back pack, "SHUT UP, NAO. This isn't funny!" I yelled at her.

She gasps, she tries to calm herself down and stood up, still shaking a bit with light snickering. "You my friend... are such a pussy."

That was it.

I had my hands around her neck ready to strangle her to death, but was stopped by my other friends who pulled me away from the redheaded devil. "Let me at her! I'll make the streets match her hair color, with her blood!" I snarled out at her.

Chie Harada, who was holding my left arm, shook her head in disapproval. "Sorry Nat, but I must agree, that was extremely hilarious." She commented, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her free hand. Her face grinning wildly as I cursed at her, "Now Natsuki, let's be fair here. It is comical, your situation."

"I agree with Chie, but I think we should lay off guys. This is still a very personal matter, and we should be helping her, not laughing at her." Mai Tokiha said, letting go of my right arm. Chie also let go of me and patted me on the head, which I responded with a poor attempt of biting her hand off.

"Hey, take it easy now, Natsuki." Mai scolded me, I sighed and glared off into the distance as I started to walk down the sidewalk, not bothering to wait for my friends. What the hell was that? I don't appreciate it when they laugh at my misfortune. Funny? They don't know a single fuck about how this is making me feel! Grr, I knew I shouldn't have told them about what happened last night.  
I sighed as I made my way to school, my friends trailing close behind me. I can hear Mai scolding Chie and Nao. Could have sworn I heard the two of them say sorry but I just ignored them, too deep in thought, and in the memories of that night with Shizuru...

-Flashback-

_'Oh shit...no way...'_

I... I just caught Shizuru touching herself! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What?

I shook my head, trying to see if this was actually happening. "Um..." I tried to speak, but no words would form in my head to voice out. I couldn't keep my eyes off her now, I can feel my heart beating inside my throat. My palms sweating, my whole body heating up. Heh, I bet my face is as bright red as Shizuru's right now.

_'She's looking straight at you, say something you dumbass!'_ I could have sworn she looked like she held her breath when I opened my mouth to speak.

"Shizuru, I uhh... I'm sorry!" I slightly bowed my head, why was I apologizing? Well, I did walk in without knocking... Whoa, wait! This is MY room, I can barge in whenever I damn well feel like it. Even when...even when she's in such a compromising position.

And what a bad position this was, is this for real? I just caught my CRUSH masturbating. Masturbating! In MY bed! Who goes through that?! I feel like I'm trapped inside some outrageous story plot written by someone who has no life.

But here I was, looking down at my feet as I kept on babbling apologies to Shizuru. Who is ever so exposed right now. "I didn't mean to walk in on you...d-doing that...um..."

She looked at me with confusion, mixed with what I think may be, shame?

She breathed out hotly, seeming to be still under the heat of her previous activities. I gulp hard as those bright crimson eyes stared up at me, her lips parted "Natsuki..."

Her voice just now, sent a violent shiver through out my body. I was so heavy and breathless, the way she said my name just now felt like velvet caressing my heart ever so gently and seductively. If her voice was fire, she'd have melted me to the ground then and there. I grew dizzy and my legs felt weak, but then panic took over my whole being at the next thing she said to me.

"It's funny how you come rushing in here..." she bit down on her lip, as if trying to stop herself. "Just when I was thinking about you..."

...

"Just when I was about to..." she blushes deeply once more, her gaze dropping down away from mine.  
This was too much to handle, my heart was doing the electric slide with my throat again. I have nothing to say, I was freaking out and could not stop myself from running out of that room and slamming the door shut behind me. Leaving Shizuru alone in my bed yet again.

-flashback end-

We were already in the hallways of our school by the time I stopped remembering what had happened, my hand was already inside my locker picking out books for my morning classes. My friends were chatting adamantly close by, Mai noticed me still staring off into space. She placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. "Still mad at us?" she asked.

I sighed again, something I've been doing a lot lately...too much. Though I smiled at my friend when her lavender eyes were showing signs of concern. "No, I'm not mad anymore. Just thinking about how I'm gonna survive the day." When my mind will only be on her and not class...well, not like I paid THAT much attention to any of the teacher's lectures, haha. Closing my locker I turn to Nao and Chie, "Don't worry, I'm fine."

All three of them stared at me with doubt, knowing very well I won't be alright.

'This is going to be such a long day...'

I rubbed my forehead as we made our way down the hall and got to our first class of the morning.  
History with Midori.

Now I know I'll pass out on this class today, I find history boring. Also, I BARELY had any sleep last night, a Shizuru induced insomnia had made itself comfortable with me ever since what happened that night. I sat two seats back, Mai sits right next to me. Nao right behind me, and Chie right behind Nao. Midori began her class, reading out loud from a book. Raving on about world war I and II. I sighed yet again for the 20th time today and leaned my head on my hand as I stared out the window. I close my eyes to rest them, and blocked out my teacher's voice. I soon found myself slowly drifting off into sleep against my will, my mind and body telling me to rest. Deep, deep in my sleep, I can just barely see her face. I found myself in a state where I was thinking hard in my sleep._ 'Shizuru...'_ How I wish I could have just met her in a different time and circumstances, one where I'm not a shy idiot and where my bro isn't already dating her.

Though my luck isn't that great, life isn't very fair, and I don't have my way in this. My mind has been filling up with doubts, insecurity and confusion beyond belief, but mostly?

Fear.

What if my brother found out about my sexual attraction towards his girlfriend? What would he say, or do? I'm sure he'd be angry with me, maybe even hate me. Possibly even find me disgusting. Hey, wait a sec... why do I even care about what Reito thinks of me? So I'm into women, big whoop. Though if he found out about me having the hots for Shizuru, THEN that would cause some problems, and I don't want any more problems than I already have.

Like figuring out what the fuck is Shizuru playing at here.

_'That's just it! She IS fucking with me! This is some sort of game to her isn't it? She might have known about my feelings from the start...'_ And is probably taking this time to play around with it. Is she already bored of Reito?

Wait, wait... fuck. Why have I been referring to my sexual frustration as 'feelings'? I don't know exactly how I feel about Shizuru... Or maybe I do? I honestly don't know. What has that woman done to me? _'What if this isn't just sexual? What if I really do care for Shizuru more deeply than what I thought? I might actually have fallen for her...hard.' _

Dammit!

I'm in love with her... what else could this mean? I know people my age suffer from high hormones, especially a sky high libido rate. But this is insane! I can't get her out of my head...

Okay, okay, breathe. Just breathe.

So, I really am in love with her.

This is bad. Very, very bad. I can't get close to her, especially if she might be playing with me.

Grah, what am I gonna do? I don't think I could ever face her now and confront her about it after what happened last night.

Should someone of my age be going through THIS kind of stress and drama?

I will have to admit... I don't think I would ever regret catching her getting off. Would you? Just now, did I begin to dream about her breathing and soft moans, hearing her whisper my name over and over...

_Thunk_

I snapped my eyes open and glared around the room to see who the hell threw a paper ball at me, I look down at my desk and see the offending object laying there. I grab it and noticed something off, I opened up the balled up paper and found a message written on it.

*It's real sad how you pussied out. You need to man up and face her head on, it's damn obvious she has the hots for you, Kuga.*

I look over my shoulder and hissed under my breath, "Nao..."

She grinned at me and went on 'listening' to Midori, I growl silently and scowled out the window again. She's into me? What the hell does Nao know? Nothing! I would be out of my mind if I came to even think of that possibility. I mean, why would Shizuru ever be interested in me? I'm nothing special, why should she be attracted to me in that way?

Letting out a sigh I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on, this is really stressing me out. Ever since she came into my life two years ago its been nothing but pure confusion and hell for me, why do I feel so damn drawn to her sexually?

_'Nothing but sexual frustration, that's all she's given me.'_

Liar...

_Thunk_

A second paper ball hit me, this time to the side of my face. I glare over to Mai, who was busily taking notes from Midori's lecture. She gave a me a side glance and smiled, I shook my head a unraveled the paper ball and read its contents.

*Nao MAY be right y'know... There could be a chance that this Shizuru chick has the hots for you too. Why can't you just tell her how you feel, and let her know that this is affecting you mentally and emotionally? Not to mention your anger issues are getting worse, and it's giving us all a headache :p*

Anger issues?!

I looked over to her and gaped, "I don't have anger issues..!" I whispered silently to her, she only rolled her eyes and answered back. "Takeda Massashi, 8th grade."

I flinched when she mentioned his name. Back in 8th grade Takeda was very persistent in asking me out. EVERY DAY. No joke, he'd always ask. The guy wouldn't leave me alone no matter how many times I rejected him, then one day things got a bit too far when he 'accidentally' grabbed my ass. In an instant I drop-kicked his teeth out in a flash of fury. He was sent to the hospital and I was suspended from school for a couple of days. Never heard from him since then.

Mai was smirking at me in victory when I flicked her off.

Grumbling to myself, I tear the paper to shreds and went back to glaring out the window.

_Thunk_

Another hit, I lean to the side and glare back over at Nao. She was busily doing her nails, her bored expression in place. I growled silently while I unraveled the paper ball, wonder what this bitch has to say now.

*Stop over thinking everything, just go with the flow. Tell her how you feel, ya damn Mutt. You deserve to get laid for once, god knows you need it... Maybe it'll even put your ass in a good mood.*

I sighed and shook my head, I can't tell Shizuru I'm in love with her. I just can't.

There are too many complications going on, too many things in the way.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

THE FUCK IS THIS?

I just got hit by three paper balls, how is Midori not noticing all of this?

One message was from Mai again.

*Natsuki, don't be afraid. We've all gone through what you're going through, don't be afraid of telling someone how you feel. You can do this, we're here for you no matter what happens :)*

I smile over to Mai, giving her a silent thank you. And she smiled back, nodding to me before turning back to pay attention to Midori's lecture.

Second message is from Nao.

*Hey, I'm not about to get all touchy feely like Mai, but... You do know I got your back right? You never know, I could be the best wingman you'll ever have ;p*

I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly, I held my hand out downwards to Nao, who happily gave it a low five.

Third message was surprisingly from Chie.

*Your story about this Shizuru seems very interesting, would you mind if I did a short story of it and publish it on the school newspaper? :D*

She's got to be kidding... I looked over to her behind Nao and saw that she was eagerly waiting for my answer. Heh, alright, I'll bite. I take out a sheet of paper and wrote down my answer, I then took an eraser and balled the paper around it. I steadily threw the paper ball over my head high enough to make it go over Nao and...

_Tack_

"Oowww..." I heard Chie groan, I chuckled silently and can already see her unraveling the paper ball and reading it.

*Not a fat chance in hell four eyes.*

"You're seriously mean, Natsuki." I heard Chie whisper loud enough for me to hear, causing me to snicker to myself. And Nao also was laughing quietly along with me.

School was soon over, Chie, Nao, and Mai insisted that I go hang out with them at the arcade down the street but I decided not to. I was pretty tired and in need of a long and good nap. I walked back home and like usual, my parents weren't home, and Reito is probably out somewhere with his buddies.

_'Or with Shizuru...' _I thought to myself bitterly, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. I shook my head and walked over to the kitchen to grab a snack to eat. I almost felt my skin jump off me when I saw that Shizuru was sitting at the table, a cup of steaming hot tea in her hands. By instinct alone I turned around, but before I could even make a step Shizuru called out to me softly.

"Natsuki..."

Fuuuuck.

I can't ignore her, and obviously can't avoid her forever. I breathed out deeply, and turned to face her. I can feel my knees shaking slightly, but not enough for her to notice. Okay...let's try not to make eye contact with her too much, Natsuki.

"Uh, Hey, Shizuru, what are you doing here?" I asked curiously, trying my best to keep my voice from shaking. And keeping my eyes around my surroundings, anywhere accept her eyes. I gotta keep myself from falling under her spell again.

"I just dropped by to say 'Hi,' was hoping Natsuki would come back from school. I missed talking to her." She smiled at me, a blush forming on her cheeks. But just a hint of pink, not blazing red like mine are. I wonder if she's blushing because she just remembered that incident in my room...

I suddenly felt my own face grow hot, I looked down at my shoes. "Oh... th...that's nice of you." I gulped.

She kept herself still there in her seat, while I just stood there. Silence fell upon us, you could hear a pin drop of how silent it just got in here. The only thing that's attacking my ears is the strong heartbeat in my chest, this isn't working! Even if I cut off eye contact with her, her very presence itself would shake me to the core. Rattle my soul violently, and kick start my heart into overdrive to the point of making my body overheat with massive warmth.

Should I tell her now? _'What if she'll laugh at me?'_

But what have I got to lose? _'How the hell though?' _

Then I just remembered what Nao said to me during that paper ball war, "Just go with the flow..." I whispered quietly to myself. So, I let my body do what it thought was right. I took a step forward, and another, and another. Till I found myself sitting across from Shizuru at the table, she looked at me puzzled. Seeming to be surprised that I sat with her, I smiled awkwardly. "I figured you'd...like the company, while you finish your tea." I did a mental high five with myself when I formed a sentence without stuttering, okay...maybe this won't be so difficult after all.

Shizuru smiled brightly at me, I felt my insides melt at this. "That's very kind of Natsuki, I really appreciate it." I know she was being very sincere with me, and I felt it touch my heart.

_'Okay, Nat. Good start, now uh...make conversation! Err, anything!'_

"So um... where have you been? I haven't seen you around since...uhh. Y'know." I cleared my throat, feeling my mouth go dry.

She looked at me shyly, her hands wrapped around the cup of tea she was currently in progress of drinking. "I'm really sorry for that, Natsuki. I...I don't know what came over me." she sighed.

I raised my hand, stopping her from apologizing any further. "It's okay Shizuru, I... I'm not mad at you, far from it. Just wondering about a lot of things. Shizuru..." I paused, trying to form the words I want to voice out. I dared myself to make eye contact with her, and I can see how vulnerable she was. _'Like Mai said, don't be afraid...'_

"I'm really torn, Shizuru. Confused... and it's hard for me to tell if you're just teasing me again or if what you do is more than just a tease. I remember how you said that night was the longest conversation we've had after the two years of knowing each other...erm, sort of." I can see her focusing on me now, all her attention was mine. I really hope I don't mess this up, keep talking Natsuki! Be honest with her, and to yourself too! Fucking end this already, TWO YEARS IS ENOUGH.

"Natsuki..."

"Let me finish." I looked at her pleadingly, "The reason I've been acting so cold and distant with you for this long is because... I didn't know the feelings you were making me feel." I saw how she held her breath, and how her hands would tighten around the cup. "I couldn't understand why every time I saw you... I felt so lost. I just didn't understand any of it, or what it meant. I felt like I wasn't in control of myself anymore, and... I hated that so much, Shizuru." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, I leaned forward and continued. "So I just HAD to get away from you, even if it meant not speaking to you all together and treating you like you weren't worth my time."

Damn...this is feeling so good, the words are just flowing out of me. Can't stop now, gotta keep going.

"It was hard at first, but in time I learned to keep my distance from you. Now though... I'm older. I get..." Here comes the hard part.

"I get urges..." I stared down at the table, not strong enough to keep my eyes on hers as I talked. "Strong urges, I found myself not able to stop thinking about what you're doing, who you're with, how you're feeling. Damn, it was crazy of how much I thought about you Shizuru, and it was becoming harder and harder to put down these feelings, these urges I have...towards you." I looked up at her, her eyes were so focused on me. She looked extremely shocked yet...intrigued? I felt my hands form into fists on top of the table. No turning back, gotta finish this.

I looked straight into her eyes, and asked her with all seriousness. "Do you remember what was on my computer the night you got in my room?" I received a nod from her, "Well, that's how you make me feel, Shizuru. You drive me insane, all I can think about, all I want, and need... is to touch you and be touched by you. Every night... Every night I dream about you, I can't stop it. I've tried so many times to beat you out of my head, to rip you out from under my skin. But it was all pointless. And these past weeks the way you've been teasing me, it was torture. I felt like you were killing me softly."

I noticed how Shizuru put aside her tea, and how she was leaning on an elbow over the table. Her breathing seemed slightly off, if I wasn't paying so much close attention to her I wouldn't have noticed it. Was she nervous?

"Remember how I ran away from you after I caught you in my bed touching yourself?" I asked her slowly, I could see her bite on her lip. A blush forming on her cheeks once again, she nodded at me shyly. "You wanna know why I ran away? It wasn't because I was extremely embarrassed, or shocked. It was because... if I didn't leave that room, Shizuru..." Ha, did my voice suddenly lower down to a soft octave? "I would have helped you finish."

I heard her gasp softly, the blush on her face intensifying more.

And me?

Let's just say, my heart felt like it was in a racing kart. Zooming around the course at an insane speed, I was starting to feel woozy..

"Shizuru, for my own sake and sanity. I have to tell you this and be honest." Feeling very bold now that everything in my head was spilled out to her, I reached and grabbed her hand. I felt her shaking, I give her hand a squeeze and lightly rubbed the top of it with my thumb. My eyes staring deeply into hers as I leaned closer over the table and spoke softly to her, bursting it out in the most sincerest way I could.

"I want you, Shizuru Fujino."

Seeing her now, so…trapped, and speechless. It was kinda fun, but inside, I was scared as hell. I'm afraid now, afraid she'll push me away and laugh at me and say, "Silly girl, it was just a game."

She opened her mouth to speak, I held my breath, tension growing inside my head. Doubts, insecurities are back invading my mind. _'Please, don't hurt me, Shizuru...' _

"Am I interrupting something?"

We both snapped our heads towards where the voice came from, lo and behold... Reito was casually leaning on the door's frame, arms crossed and a small smile on his face. I instantly let go of Shizuru's hand and tried hard to hold back a glare. "Hey bro..." I greeted half heartedly.

He chuckled, "Aw, Nat doesn't seem to be happy to see me. Oh, Zuru! I didn't know you dropped by, sorry, I was upstairs in my room." he apologized to her.

"Ara, ara, there's no need to apologize Reito. Natsuki was keeping me in good company." She smiled over to me, a silent message in her eyes, 'We'll talk about this later.'

I sighed and got up from my seat, "I'm going to my room, I need a nap." I walked out of the kitchen door, not bothering to respond to my brother's, "Get good rest." comment.

Fucking hell, it was almost over!

Now I have to wait some more, this is going to be suck so damn much!

**A/N: **Damn that Reito! Dx lol R and R please!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I dunno if anyone remembers but the reason I'm still writing this fic is for someone who's very special to me in every way, so this isn't only something I do to pass the time. This fic is special to me, and I know that if it weren't for YL I would have never met her. I love you babe, if you're reading this I hope you'll get some déjà vu somewhere at the end... *coughs* Anyways, please enjoy!

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**Chapter 4 Consequences, what consequences?  
**

Today was horrible.

I've been so distracted lately, I'm paying less attention in class than usual. If I keep this up I'll fail upcoming tests in the near future, and that's something I can't afford to deal with. I have enough shit on my plate, and would like to keep it from over flowing. When I say distracted, I really meant out of it. Spacing out not only in classes, but in the most outrageous times where my human instinct should have been on alert. Times like PE class during a practice run of soccer, which by the way, will be the last time I ever play that game.

As I said before, I wasn't paying attention, so I don't really remember what exactly happened. Today was my turn to be the goalie, simple enough right? No.

Being a goalie isn't easy, especially when you're in a deep mental coma that's filled with thoughts about a certain Kyoto woman.

Even more when you were about to defend against one of the school's most gifted soccer player's kick, and boy was that some kick. That kick was so damn hard it would have made the soccer ball gone through the net. I wish it would have happened like that, but the ball hit me square in the face, right in the nose. You can imagine how much that hurt, I bet it was very funny to watch me be carried off by my friends clutching my bloody nose.

"Ow! Son of a..." the words died in my mouth when the school nurse, Yohko, raised an eyebrow at me, as if daring me to finish my sentence. I smiled sheepishly and gritted my teeth while she continued to rub alcohol on the stinging cut that's marked the bridge of my nose. It's what I get for spacing out, I should have been paying more attention.

Yohko sighed and shook her head, "You're very lucky Ms. Kuga." Bullshit... "I see no signs of a concussion, my recommendation is to try and keep some ice on your nose to avoid it from getting anymore swollen." she advised while she gently placed a white band-aid over the cut on my nose, "Other than that, you're free to go." Thanking the nurse, I hopped off the bed and walked out of the infirmary office. Nao, Mai, and Chie were waiting for me outside, I can already sense their worry. It's normal for them to do so, I have been acting like a total zombie these two weeks. I've been letting this Shizuru situation get in the way in my normal daily life, it's even been getting harder and harder for me to muster up the strength to walk home. When I know perfectly well that she'll be waiting in the kitchen, that's how it's been these past days. Only she's with Reito drinking tea and chatting about whatever...

"Snap out of it, Kuga." Nao snapped her fingers close to my face three times, breaking my train of thought. She looked at me weirdly, "What is up with you? Mai asked you a question." she said, lime green eyes still staring into my own questioningly. I ignored the stare and turned to Mai.

"I heard what you said, and I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about, Ms. Yohko said it's not serious." I explained to all of them, they all looked at each other, seeming to debate amongst themselves silently if I was telling the truth or not.

And to be honest?

I am not fine.

And they knew it too.

Which is probably why they followed me all the way to my house after school ended, demanding that I let them go up to my room to play videogames like we use to. Claiming that I needed some fun back into my life, and could use the distraction. They know about what happened in the kitchen with Shizuru, or at least, what didn't happen. A sigh escaped my lips as I watched my friends rush upstairs to my room, I stood for a moment and glanced over to the closed door that leads to the kitchen. Pondering if I should go in and say 'Hi,' but I was too scared to. Not because Reito might be in there with her, but because of her possibly rejecting me. _'Well what did you think would happen? You pretty much told her you want to fuck her...who would react to that nicely? She's probably offended by it, that I spoke of her as if she was some juicy piece of meat I was craving to take a bite out of.'_

A nice, tender bite out of her... I shook my head to try and rid myself of these dirty thoughts. Walking up the stairs I entered my room, and shot off a grunt at my friends, "You guys better not be fucking around with my stuff—"

Seeing them just standing in my room, their attention very much taken to something on my bed. I get Chie out of the way to see what they were looking at, I felt my heart jump in shock and in happiness at the sight of Shizuru sitting on my bed. She sees me, our eyes meeting for a split second, and in that second alone provoked the fire to ignite within my chest, the heat soon spread up my neck to my face. _'What are you doing here?'_ Mai tapped me on the shoulder, breaking my trail of thought. "We walked in and there she was, we were talking just now about you. Hope you don't mind that we asked her to join us in our gaming session, seeing how she was very patient waiting here for you. Right, Shizuru?" She only chuckled, nodding to Mai.

"Yes, I would like to play with Natsuki and her friends."

Mai smiled mischievously at me before whispering in my ear, "You're welcome." I could only gape at her, wondering what the hell she and the other two meddling idiots were planning, but to my relief and disappointment, Shizuru spoke again. "I would very much like to, but I can't." seeming very upset at rejecting the offer, it made me smile for a brief moment at the thought of Shizuru pouting. Then my smile quickly disappeared, and panic overtook me when she said, "I actually need to talk to Natsuki...in private. If that won't be a bother to the three of you?" You're suppose to ask that to ME!

I don't need to turn around to see that Chie was giving me the thumbs up, Nao was shooting me a perverted grin while Mai arched her eyebrow at me amusingly. "Oh, that won't be a problem, we'll go downstairs and grab some snacks. Right guys?" she turned to the others, who nodded, still grinning wildly as if they caught me doing something naughty. I was sending silent messages at Mai like a maniac with my eyes. I was told once that my expressions are easy to read, so I'm hoping Mai got the message that reads among the lines of: "I will kill you in your sleep." Or "I shall find ways to make you sterile so that your kind may never spread out and torture the innocent like me." Hell, maybe even "I will cut off your clit so you won't find pleasure ever again. Not even in this, since you obviously seem to get off on putting me on the spot!"

Maybe that's a bit too extreme...

_'Nah.'_

Too busy of thinking ways to torture Mai and the others, I didn't notice that they have left. Not until I heard the door click shut. The deafening silence was all that was left, and only Shizuru and I remain alone, her crimson eyes watching me. As if trying to analyze me, waiting...

Waiting for what?

I know I have already started to fidget slightly where I stood, feeling her stare overwhelming me. My heart began to race, doubt creeping over me... Fear? Where are you? Oh, there it is, slowly wrapping itself around my still fast beating heart. As if cuddling it, cooing at it as it tightened itself around my heart. Whispering to it that this will only hurt for a moment. When I know that's a lie, this would hurt me forever.

"Natsuki should relax more, I didn't think you'd ever be even more stiff than usual." She chuckled, leaning back on her hands, still sitting on my bed. This is looking a bit way too familiar, if by the way she was staring at me didn't make me remember. Then the way her short black skirt rode up her thigh as she crossed her legs most definitely jogged my memory, yep. _'Keep calm, ignore that she's sitting on your bed like she's serving herself up like a piece of hot juicy steak...'_ I'm a medium rare person myself.

Just a small fact of my likes and don't likes. Today, it's likes my dear audience. I like the hot pink center...for my steak. And I'm sure a lot of people do too... I dunno what to feel now, either horny or hungry. And it's very alarming how I can't figure out which, the fuck is wrong with me? "You like to space out a lot don't you, Natsuki?"

There you go again, Nat. Pay attention you damn idiot, I inwardly smacked myself. "I uh, sorry..." I smiled sheepishly at her, crossing my arms and shifting my weight on my left foot. Trying to seem calm, "I have a lot on my mind, didn't mean to space."

Shizuru hummed, "Hm, that's strange. I've had a lot on my mind too, wonder what Natsuki has been thinking about." she paused, as if waiting for an answer, but of course it never came. So she continued to speak on, "You've probably been thinking of me... Just the way I have of you." her hands were now gripping at the bed sheets, her knuckles turning white. I can almost feel the tension growing within her, I stood there stunned. She's been thinking of me? That sentence sent my mind back to when I caught her in my bed... The flashback caused my face to heat up again. I soon found myself speaking, "You're a real know it all." Keep your cool, Kuga.

Shizuru smiled at my comment, "I take it I'm right? We have...so much to talk about don't we?" I gave her a reluctant nod, the suspicion of all this was killing me. Just reject me already, I'm getting tired of this drama and the angst. "You really did a number on me that day, dropping all that on my lap and then not speak to me for days. Did Natsuki expected me to forget all of it and move on?" Of course not. "What does Natsuki think I would do or say about this?" Uhh...do I really have to answer her? I see her sitting up straight, crossing her arms around her chest. Her eyebrow arched as she waited for my answer, _'She's seriously making me answer her? Damn it.' _

Breathing out, I grab the chair away from the desk and sat on it across from Shizuru. This is gonna be a long talk, "You want me to be honest?"

"As honest as you were the last time we spoke." she said, I sighed and relaxed on the chair. This woman is killing me, alright Nat, speak your mind...

"Well... I didn't exactly think of the consequences, it all just came spilling out. I had no control over my—"

"What consequences?" she cut me off, I cleared my throat at her and lightly glared.

"Being hurt, rejected, scaring you away or making a fool of myself. Those consequences. I take it back, you aren't a know it all." I let out a small laugh, trying to see if by humor I can calm myself down. Shizuru shook her head, as if she was disagreeing with my answers.

"You're wrong, Natsuki. Will you..." she paused, she glanced to the side before speaking again. "Will you sit closer to me?" My eyes widen at her request, "Please?"

Shit.

No, no, don't get closer to her. Just being in the same room is enough stress for my heart, don't you DARE say yes Kuga, you will regret this! "Uh..." DON'T. "Okay..." AHHHHH!

Getting up from the chair, I sat beside Shizuru on the edge of my bed. My hands began to grow sweaty, I kept my eyes down casted. I can feel her eyes watching me, but I'm too scared to look. I would instantly fall for her all over again if our eyes met, "What...is it?" I dared to ask, my voice shaking slightly. I'm so close to her, if I had the guts I would have my hand slide up her thigh...to feel that soft skin. Suddenly feeling something smooth touch my face, I see that Shizuru was cupping my cheek. Making me face her, "Natsuki..." My entire face was on fire of how hot it was getting, with the way she was touching my cheek, the way she was looking deep into my eyes. The way she said my name...

But what mostly pulled me in more, were her eyes. Staring at them now, it feels like this is the first time I really do look deep in her eyes. At that moment, I can see what she was trying to tell me. These deep and honest crimson eyes that can never lie to me, the tenderness of them staring straight into mine was overwhelming. She leaned in closer, our foreheads leaning on each other now. I can never get enough of those eyes, I need to see them again. Seeing them would help me remember that this isn't a dream, this can't be a dream.

I leaned my head back away slightly, just enough for me to see her eyes more clearly. My heart is beating so slowly now, for some strange reason... I was relaxed, the tension completely gone. What are you doing to me Shizuru? Could it be your eyes, I have to know what is it about you that's calming me like this... As if this was done before, so natural and normal. Her thumb lightly caressed my bottom lip, making them part as she continued her soft caress on them. She leaned in close again, our noses brushing against each other. I kept dead still, _'Even when this relaxed I'm still nervous and shy... dammit.' _Just as I was about to lean away from her again, I felt her hand wrap itself around the back of my neck. Her fingers lightly pulling at my hair, our lips were now just barely touching when she whispered. "Hold still already..." And my heart stopped the moment her lips pressed against mine so softly, my eyes closed instantly at the contact. I tentatively moved my lips against hers gently, the light and soft sound of our lips smacking with each short and innocent kiss made my heart jump every time.

I can tell Shizuru was getting bold now, by the way she caught my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it before sucking it. The sudden action making me take in a harsh breath, my whole body reacting to such a simple thing like that... I wonder if this is one of the many sweet spots on me she'll discover. I began to grow confident, and slid my tongue inside her mouth. Shivering at the soft feeling of our tongues caressing each other while we kissed deeper and deeper, her hand still gripping at my hair. I decided to dare myself to touch her too, and brought my hand up her side slowly. My fingers gripping at her shirt, then she broke the kiss. My lips already aching to kiss her again, just when I was making another move to do so. I felt her shift closer to me, and sat herself on my lap. This made my eyes grow wide slightly, I was too far gone, still placed that trance she caused me to fall into to know what was going on. All I saw was her eyes staring down at me before leaning her head down low and began to kiss my neck, the sensation of her soft lips on my skin causing my toes to curl.

_'Fuck...'_

Was the only coherent thought that repeated itself over and over in my head when she pushed herself against me, making me lose balance and fall back on the bed with her on top of me. Her lips still latched on to my neck, still planting soft gentle kisses. My hands went up her back, fingertips finding their way across her soft skin. Her shirt must have pulled up when she got on my lap, grahhh... this is driving me insane. She finally stopped kissing my neck, a process that felt like forever, her hot breath was all I could feel on my skin now. The feel of it making me grow even more hotter, I tried hard not to shiver at it. She laid on me, her breath still tickling my neck. I felt her nuzzle into it more and relax on top of me, my hands at this moment have a mind of their own and just continued to rub the exposed area of her back.

We stayed like this for a long time, I started to get worried. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She mumbled against my neck, "I'm okay... I'm not crushing you am I?" she sighed deeply in content, I smiled to myself widely and was thanking god she wasn't looking at me, cause I know I must be smiling like a damn fool. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and held her as she laid on me, "No, I'm very comfortable." She lifted herself up, now leaning on her hands that are on either side of my head. Hair pooling down around my face as she stared down at me, I can feel another blush coming on at this. _'Do I have something on my face?' _

"Natsuki is hurt, what happened?" she asked me, her eyes filled with worry.

Oh, my nose. I chuckled, "Bad soccer practice today, it's no big deal, just a little nip and bruising."

She leaned down again and kissed my nose softly, I smiled up at her. "Though now I'm sure it'll feel better." Shizuru giggled and rolled off of me to lay down beside me, her hand found it's way in mine. I gave it a light squeeze while she began to speak, "You know... I forgot what I really came here to tell you." Eh? What could she possibly be here for other than talk about us? "Reito asked me to invite you to this camping trip we're planning early tomorrow, will Natsuki go?"

Camping trip?

With Reito?

"Uhh...Are you sure it's a good idea for me to go?" Why the fuck would Reito invite me along for this trip?

"Of course!" she turned her head to look at me, "I'd mostly love for Natsuki to be there, we'll be road tripping all the way to Fuuka National Forest. It'll be fun!" she smiled dreamily, "Haruka, Yukino, Akane and Kazuya, even Tate too." Figures, Shizuru and Reito's college friends are gonna be there.

"I dunno Shizuru...sleeping in a tent with a bunch of college people in the woods? Sounds boring." I grinned at her, she laughed and slid her free hand up my stomach.

"Natsuki won't be bored with me and...who says we'll be sleeping?" she whispered in my ear, which quickly turned red. Did she just? _'Holy fuck...' _

Gulping heavily, I jumped up to my feet off the bed and smiled nervously at Shizuru. "I um... sure, I'll go! Hey, we should go check on the others, I don't want them eating up everything dry in the kitchen. Haha." I stammered all over the place as I fumbled for the door knob, finally opening the door.

_Thump_

Nao, Mai and Chie fell down before my feet. The glass that Nao was holding rolled down over to the bed next to Shizuru's foot, we both blinked down at my friends.

"Ara ara, we seem to have three spies in our midst." She laughed lightly, I on the other hand was far from amused.

"What the fuck guys? How long have you been eavesdropping?" I demanded answers, all three of them smiled up at me innocently. Nao was the first to stand up, her impish grin making me feel uneasy.

"Oh, we heard enough... Hey Fujino?" the redheaded devil nodded over to Shizuru, who could only raise an amused eyebrow at her, "We're tagging along on that trip if you don't mind." that seemed more of a statement than a question, wait...

WHAT?!

"Excuse me?" I glared at Nao, ready to knock the red off her hair. What the hell is she up to?

"I'm talking to Fujino, show some manners, Mutt." My fist was about to raise when Chie placed on a hand on my shoulder.

"Nat, relax. The trip sounds nice actually, and we're all sure you wouldn't be comfortable alone with people you barely know." she explained.

Mai nodded in agreement, "She's right y'know, besides, it'd be fun to spend some time together more often. What better way then with mother nature?" She sighed in daydream, "Been a while since the last time we went camping, oh! I know! I'll bring my portable karaoke machine!" she squealed, Nao and I grimaced at the idea. Maybe I shouldn't go after all...

"Fufu, you are all welcome to the trip. I'm sure Reito would be fine, the more people the better he'd say actually." Shizuru stood up and walked over to me, she planted a kiss on my cheek, "You all better be up and early around five here at the house, it's gonna be a long drive." she suggested and winked at me before walking out my room.

My friends grinning like crazy at me, my face could only get so red as I felt Shizuru's tender kiss linger on my cheek.

_'This is gonna be a long weekend.'_

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**A/N: **Woo, hope you all liked xD My x mas present to you, my dear readers. Happy holidays and happy new years! I shall update soon, if the world doesn't end tomorrow... lol If you ask me, the Mayans just got lazy and didn't wanna keep counting on their calendar._  
_

R and R!


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